Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Purge Review

The premise that was brought with The Purge was incredible. The marketing and the ideas at first were insane, and showed a lot of footage of humanity being as awful as Raas Al Ghul said it was in Batman Begins. The idea of this movie is that all crime is legal for one full 12 hour period. That’s right, all is fair, including killing, stealing, and jaywalking. With that in mind, Rod Serling most likely was spinning in his grave, as this feels a lot like the twists and turns that would make The Twilight Zone a spectacular showcase of fear.

In fact, the whole marketing campaign felt like a lead in for one of the classic episodes from that show. If you recall them, they were all about how the suspension of crime would be handled. I didn't get to see it in theaters, but my sister did and she thought it was cool at first. She told me the ending sucked, but I didn't want to believe, and well, unfortunately, she was right for once. Just so you know, she's never right!

The Purge Starts Well Enough, But Falls Off A Cliff In The End


The start of this movie is classic, with an obvious twist that is coming and is revealed in the second act. It’s also there that we are introduced to a dilemma. A stranger shows up and then all hell breaks loose. Within the first and second act, death comes to an otherwise secure stronghold, as a security system salesman and his family are targeted for being nice to a homeless man.

This movie really starts to go off the rails in the third act, where the terrorizing group jumps and breaks through the secured home and starts to seriously cause havoc. You think everything has gone to hell and there is no hope, as each person is systematically picked off by the father (Ethan Hawke). The movie feels harder than any other movie I’ve seen in a long time. There are some dimwitted moments, but not before a lot of revenge happens. I’m sure gun nuts will love this, as it has self-defense written all over it.

The Purge is a good enough movie, through the first few acts. Then it starts to falter, and eventually comes to a halt with a twist ending that you see coming a mile away. I didn’t care for how it turned out, and really didn’t like the way it all gets sewn up in a way that a sequel is all but ready. It’s not a great movie, it has its faults, but I will say that this is not a soft movie. It’s hard, and it blows away the pg-13 crap that has been floating around the genre for some time.

I loved the premise, and I liked the way it began, but I can’t seem to find greatness in the ending. I didn’t like it, but I still think this is a strong horror, revenge flick. It reminds me of the Kevin Bacon movie where he gets revenge for the murder of his son. Perhaps The Purge on Blu Ray features better supplemental footage. Check that out and see if it’s worth your time.



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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Invasion of The Body Snatchers Review

The year was 1956, and before most of my constituents were born a movie was unleashed on the general public that would serve as a propaganda piece and illustration for communism, religious takeovers, and just about anything you wanted to portray as a dichotomy. Invasion of the Body Snatchers has some of the coolest posters in promotion of the film and has been remade time and time again. It’s one of the classics of horror, and it’s perhaps one that hasn’t aged very well at all. You know things are bad when you remember watching the movie in high school during History 101.

This edition of the film was directed by Don Siegel and it has some gripping moments. Kevin McCarthy and Dana Wynter do a fine job in Superscope here, but the pacing is just awful. It’s definitely not meant for our modern minds, or perhaps we’ve been replaced?

The plot is familiar to those that like horror and it is all about a community that has found that something has gone severely wrong with their loved ones. While investigate, a doctor takes note that something is in fact going on, and like a twist out of the Twilight Zone uncovers the fact that everyone is being replaced by creatures from another dimension. Pods are found and escape is futile.

The monsters are interesting on both sides of the coin here. The family members that are scared and the pod people as well. The pods are definitely a soap box of sorts, pushing the ideas and boundaries into political arenas but I like to think of this as nothing more than a science fiction classic.

Yes, it’s classic, and far from scary, but it’s an example or even a holding place for cinema of the past. We have come a long way, and despite my gripes with the pacing and the fact that it’s used as an educational tool in History/Humanities classes, it still holds up on the premise that you may never truly know that special someone in your life. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is not going to be watched over and over again in my house, and if it is, I know the aliens have taken over. Lord knows that the idiots have already taken over, but that’s another story for another time. I’m not sure what else to say, this is classic, this is a review, and this is me trying to keep the pirate ship afloat, so buy something already. Until next time, I’m going to write about kung fu on another site.



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Thursday, December 19, 2013

Black Sheep Review

black sheep new zealand
Black Sheep is a movie that came out to a lot fanfare. In fact, I saw a lot of ads in horror publications small and large. I didn’t get around to watching it, until recently, which means that I’m far behind on my movie reviews. This came out in 2006, and it really is the best thing to come out of New Zealand since the last time I remember writing about a movie like this. I honestly, don’t remember.

The movie revolves around what you may think, killer sheep! That’s right, move over “Silence of the Lambs” here comes something that trumps you in a very annoying way. The movie is a classic tale of a young man that leaves his home for the big city, only to return to the farm and find out that something seriously wrong has occurred. In this time, Henry (main character) returns to a farm that he thought he would never come back. While he was gone his brother has been working on creating a Frankenstein of sorts, and it has gone all wrong.

Take the insanity of “Planet Terror” mix in sheep, and then throw a little Jaws in 3-D and you have a mix of movies and genres that completely obliterate your senses with pure terror. Black Sheep does a good job of punching you in the nuts, or ovaries, and doesn’t let go. It’s a fast moving horror film that doesn’t make sense, but most certainly combines shock value with incredibly stupid scenarios. Common sense gets completely trampled like a father getting a toy for his kid during a black Friday rush….I’m reaching here, my apologies.

All the classic foils that you would expect in horror are here, only done to a comedic level. From fart jokes, to insane zombie moments, you get everything you could want from a cheeseball horror movie and a little bit of levity to throw you off. By the time you realize that there is hope, something goes wrong yet again and you have our heroes fighting to save their dog, save the farm, and stop an onslaught of sheep.

Mary may have had a little lamb, but she didn’t expect this! I think the cheese has melted into my psyche by this point in the review. Overall Black Sheep is an insane movie, one with some slow moments, but it is ok, the frenetic pacing in the third act and the giant explosions that ensue from the same gag that “Beavis and Butthead Do America” had, is well worth your time. I liked it, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than most foreign movies that I’ve seen in recent months. So check this out and see what the hype is about. It very well may be the best movie with Sheep in the title, that is not a porno.



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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Curse of Chucky Review

chucky is back
When they announced a new Chucky movie, I was definitely excited. Then I heard it got thrown into a nightmare world of movies. The ones that don’t end up getting a lot of fanfare at the theaters, and end up on dvd and streaming. I didn’t catch this on a streaming account, because I do not subscribe to the internet options. Instead, I had to wait for the real thing to arrive and I have to admit it caught me by surprise. This somewhat linear sequel jumps across a lot of the plots you’ve heard before, but lands somewhere in the lore of the world of Child’s Play. Remember, the original movie was NOT called Chucky, but rather a Christmas tale about a killer and a doll. Curse of Chucky pushes a lot of buttons, but may not be the excellent option that you remember.

In this movie you will find that a young woman and her mother are stalked by a killer doll. That doll is an updated version of our favorite friend, and I’m not a fan. The over polished look and feel was not great, but the movie does a good job in revealing why, but I won’t say more to that effect. Aside from that, the movie has our little buddy sounding a lot like Brad Dourif, because he’s in it! The movie moves forward with your traditional plot of murdering family members in a house, and you aren’t sure why.

By the third act you are revealed another backstory, and one that kind of makes sense. The buildup is tense, and right when you think this one is going to be over, it kicks off into overdrive. A woman in a wheelchair becomes our hero, and she is badass, until taking one hell of a spill, in which the doll we thought was real, isn’t real at all. Curse of Chucky plays with the emotions of longtime fans, and then drops them into a cornfield, and drives away. That may not make a lot of sense, because that’s how I feel about the movie. It tries too hard to make something new, when I already have 5 movies of remembering the characters.

Perhaps the best thing about the movie, and subsequently the worst thing about the movie is the ending that ties things together past, present, and future into a new world. One where the last movie is made insignificant, but then again, so what? Right?

Curse of Chucky is a far cry from the original Childs Play, but it’s not half bad. There are some logical moments, and a lesbian subplot that I swore needed boobs, but other than that, this isn’t half bad. I found it tense, and in the tradition of the original series, but with a new twist. I didn’t like the ending, nor did I really know where it was going, but overall, it’s a fun entry. One that I would probably see again, just not necessarily soon. Check it out, it’s kind of cool to see our little friend back in action.



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Friday, December 13, 2013

The 5 Best Damn Horror Movies For Christmas

In 2010, when I was still writing like a mad man and trying to get myself out of another bout with depression I wrote about the Top 5 Christmas horror movies, and it was received well enough. People thought I was wrong and people thought I was right. You could read that post right here, but today is not about the past it’s about the present and the future. It’s with that in mind that I’m going to drop a bomb today, and no I do not mean another bowel movement.

Today, for your consideration, like an episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark” is none other than the best damn horror movies for Christmas. Of course these are not for children, and no they aren’t pornographic although Dracula XXX comes highly recommended by me and Ron Jeremy. I think he was in it, I haven't seen it in a long time, not that I'm advocating pornography directly.

So here you go, all 2 of you that still read this site, my picks for the best of the best. If you agree, disagree, or have some comments, let me know what's up.



5. Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg plays one hell of a character here. It doesn’t end very well and it takes on a laughable premise, but for the most part, this horror Christmas entry is one that is well worth looking at. I must also admit that the best bit of performance art was had by this former NFL and WCW powerhouse. His match with DDP at WCW’s Halloween Havoc in 1998 is still one of the most impressive feats of professional wrestling, fake or not, they danced in a very grand way. Now that I’ve lost my readers, I can say that this movie is one of the best examples of a movie that wasn’t meant for theaters and still manages to deliver a high production value. The gore is ramped up at times, and the opening sequence alone is star studded and brings out some fun. Santa’s Slay may not be a serious movie, but it most certainly delivers on the horror aspect. It’s fun, not scary, so don’t give me slack.

4. To All A Good Night

The 1970s were a hell of a time for movies. There seemed to be a willingness to be uncensored, and work with the ratings in a much harder way. There was also a great deal of creativity thrown to the box covers of videos. To All A Good Night is one of those movies that slips by a lot of people, but is worth scoping out. It is the story of a group of teenagers that are partying and are being slowly picked off by a maniac in a Santa Claus suit. Pretty basic, and quite a throwback, even if the pacing is a bit on the slow side. But hey, a killer Santa Claus nearly 10 years before the other famed one? Yep.The 1970s produced some sick movies, and this may not be the sickest of all the releases, but it is definitely a good one that many people move over in favor of Christmas Evil, Black Christmas, and even some older options that are just boring as ever.

3. Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall is insane. It has one of my favorite movie posters and really is one of the coolest concepts. A mall closes down and to protect the place, a killer robot is dispatched. This may not be a 100% Christmas tale, but it’s all about shopping or rather Chopping! It features an incredible head explosion before CG started to be everywhere. It’s a good entry into this list and one that is well worth your time to seek out. The next time you’re at the mall, just think about this movie and how you could be next! Remember the Simpsons episode? That was good. I remember the first time I saw this, it was a double feature for me with Sleepaway Camp. The horror movie video boxes were 100 times more intriguing than anything that is seen now. I am definitely a big fan of these things, and wax nostalgic about it too much, or not enough.

2. Gremlins

Horror comedy that isn’t scary? Well Gremlins pushes on a lot of comedic elements, but still maintains a good creep factor that gives you enough of a treat. This is not an all-out onslaught of the senses, and it is not a slasher, but the horror elements, hard drinking, smoking and more makes this one quite compelling. Gremlins fans will be upset that I didn’t put this at #1 but come on, it’s more comedy than it is straight laced horror, right? Whatever. A small town gets hit with crude Gremlins! What’s not to love? This movie is definitely the better of the two releases that bear the name Gremlins. Also, don't confuse this for Critters or Ghoulies. I love Ghoulies though, and remember that one time that they went to college? There's a lot of Critters movies too, they had cool posters.

1. Black Xmas (remake)

There are going to be a lot of people upset about this. No, Silent Night Deadly Night doesn’t get start treatment here. Why? Because Black Xmas came out swinging and completely obliterates the 5 movies that were just awful. The first one had a Santa Claus rape and murder sequence, so it loses on the premise of just being horrendous. Ok, it’s a favorite of mine, but still, this one ramps up the brutality, production, and sound design. A group of sorority girls get stalked by a psycho around Christmas. The ending is brutal as ever, and the sound design makes this one my top pick. It’s a good watch, and eliminates the need to watch many others. If you don't like this one, then it's most likely because it's too brutal. I admit, it  has some moments that will make you cringe, but like Wes Craven reminds, it's only a movie, it's only a movie.

There you have it, Scary Film Reviews best of Christmas. Oh and if you think I’m a hack, I spent 3 consecutive years reviewing only Holiday Horror movies in the month of December, so go back into the archives and see why they aren’t on this list here. Ok, I admit, I am a hack. Pick these up with the appropriate links below and help a brotha out, it’s Christmas!

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Thursday, December 12, 2013

Grizzly Review

Grizzly horror movie
One of my favorite shirts from Rotten Cotton is their iconic silk screen of this movie’s poster. Grizzly was released in 1976 and another entry in the PG era, which is insanity. I can’t believe these were horror movie releases with such tame ratings, and yet today, we can’t come up with a good movie that is in the same genre with the same kind of iconic punch. Whatever the case is, this is not an epic, it’s not going to win awards and most people will find this to be just like the reviewers stated in the past, “Jaws” on the land. Yeah, that is a fitting tribute, but it’s a bit worse than the mighty shark film, even if LJN didn’t make a video game after this one.

The movie follows a group of campers that are just chilling and not dealing with any of your normal traps. Even though the opening showcases a good bear attack, it won’t haunt your dreams, that’s for sure. As campers are killed, you have a chief ranger that is set on closing things down and trying to set up a party that will take out the 18 foot beast. Of course, no story would be good without a good sense of danger, scares, and jump scenes, right? Well you get it all in this schlock fest of a film from the 1970s.

The story components are all the same that you would expect from a giant monster film, and nothing is really done that well here. Sure, there are some strong story elements, but in the full frame of things you are going to get a lot of slow down and ramp up for a bear that is laughable at best. Sure, it’s better than some of the ones that I’ve seen in recent years even though some were passable.

Perhaps the best thing about Grizzly is that it’s not a man in a bear suit, it’s a real bear. Yes, a real bear is used through the film and it’s not half bad. Mix a serial killer movie, with nature and you may start to see this one develop before your very eyes. The whole natural killing elements, camp sequences, and screaming will definitely have you smiling, but it’s far from “classic”.

Grizzly does have some good scenes, and the filmmakers didn’t completely botch this one. I don’t hate it, but I feel that it hasn’t stood the test of time. It’s definitely something to put on during your Halloween season of watching horror films, but repeated viewings? Well, only diehards will want to get Grizzly and watch it over and over. Not me, but I’m not really a measuring stick.



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Vampires Rage Kickstarter and Movie Opportunity

There are a lot of up and coming directors, writers, and projects that you need to be aware of in the horror world. One of the good ones that I recently was informed of is that of Vampires Rage. It brings together the lore and fright of vampirism with a hip hop twist. It could be so much more with the support of horror fans just like you. This is a chance to get behind up and coming horror stories, and actually change the industry from the inside out. You can check out the Kickstarter for Vampires Rage here.

Destiny Changes Everything

The story of a hip hop dancer that comes face to face with fate is one of iconic terror. Imagine your whole life changing at the drop of a hat. That’s the crux of Vampires Rage, which is currently a short film, with a great deal of possibilities. A young dreamer is turned into a Vampire, the undead, creature of the night and must realize that life can carry you into some odd places.

The trailer showcases true potential, creating an iconic twist to the classic lore and tales that you get from previous entries into the Vampire mythos. Taking cues from a lot of different places, this movie could very well be the next big in horror. Supporting independent film is definitely worthwhile in this actioner that features some of the best elements of the past, and creates a whole new future.

Support the Film

Supporting the production and release of this film can be as easy as donating $1. If you have that much to spare, you will find yourself helping one of the coolest new entries into the world of action, horror films. It has all the elements to being a classic, and definitely something that could easily fit into the purchasing power that Lionsgate Films has been doing in for direct to dvd releases and more.

If you are a horror fan of any level, you will want to jump on board and support the production and release of Vampires Rage, as it will help go directly to horror movies, which is what unites this site.

Check out the trailer below:



Support Vampires Rage by going HERE for the Kickstarter page and get this funded!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Jaws Review

jaws blu ray
Jaws came out in June of 1975 and when it was released the world had already been used to schlock. However, Steven Spielberg changed everything by taking what was only played at midnight in crappy theaters and made something unique, that was then subsequently ripped off by every single director in the world. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but when you have 40 or 50 killer shark movies, including one recent one that had a tornado of sharks hitting the Los Angeles, Californian area, you know something is awesome. Not only that, they remade this movie a few more times, and one was in full 3-D! How awful a legacy, or better yet, how awesome a legacy!

This movie is rated PG, and perhaps another thing that people don’t really remember about it. Even though the rating didn’t have an insane amount of influence, it is still one of those classics moments in movie history. It scared the hell out of people that were vacationing, going to the beach and just swimming anywhere. Heck, it even inspired a scene in “Clerks”, wait, that was salsa? Nevermind.

The opening, a woman swimming for a buoy and then getting ripped to shreds is insanity. It is something that gets copied a lot, and it’s not just in Jaws rip offs, it’s in other films. I recall seeing it in “Creepshow 2” for instance, but that wasn’t the start of the film, so that gets a pass. The endangered swimmer cliché is here, but it was here that it was invented, right?

Jaws is not a great film, looking back. It’s not a favorite of mine, however it is an iconic piece of horror movie history. I can see why it was scary when it was released, and there are moments that I still find compelling. I hate being on the Ocean, so if this were to occur in real life, I’m out. Heck, I was out in Key West and gave up on trying to fish for Mahi Mahi. So perhaps this movie is worth more than my discredit, so I will digress and say that it’s far better.

If you haven’t picked up Jaws on Blu Ray, than the time is now to get it. It is not full of gore, it doesn’t have a lot of nude scenes, it isn’t going to scare most, but it’s definitely a good example of a simple plot turned into a full scale production. It has some gusto, and the shark is definitely one for the ages. So maybe I’m changing my mind mid review and saying that this is a standard for a lot of movies. Check this mess out and see just why you may need a bigger boat.

Remember to check out my previous post that included a nifty throwback to this movie. LJN Jaws is part of the worst movie games on the Nintendo and I wrote it here, a few months back, so read it.



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Apple's Shocking iPhone

Now this is too good, check it out:



Introducing the Apple's Newest Shocking iPhone. No apps, no buttons, just simple Pure Communication. This Apple's iPhone promo spoof is yet to shock the world.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Birds Review

50th anniversary the birds blu ray
The Birds is a classic to anyone that loves horror. It was released in 1963, which makes this film older than most of my readers and even myself. This movie starred Rod Taylor and Jessica Tandy, and it is still one of those movies that gets a lot of chatter on top 10 lists, and a lot of television programs. Alfred Hitchcock directed this masterpieces and perhaps the most compelling of it all is that it was only rated PG! That’s right, it wasn’t even rated R and yet it appears on a lot of lists as one of the greatest horror movies of all time.

The movie follows a couple that is moving to a new locale, one with a lot of nature, including birds. When they attack our leading lady, Melanie Daniels, things start to start to boil over. As the plot progresses, we see a couple transitioning into love. This change of pace is definitely going to rub some people the wrong way because it’s very slow. The pacing will get most people bored fast, but if you’re a fan of suspense, you will love this boiling water of a film. The Birds start to prove to be suicidal and start to appear evil, as they try and get the young lovers.

This film is an example of how Alfred Hitchcock was able to frame suspense and horror into such a simple manner. The birds that are attack should not be something that scares the average person, but the way he frames it, makes it quite interesting. From first person shots, to a frenzied pace of real feathers and so much more, this movie captures that scary momentum that many experience on a daily basis. Ever been attacked by a black bird? I have, and it’s scary.

Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds may not be your immediate favorite, but if you go back and watch it, you’ll be treated with a good overall horror tale, spun in classic format that only a master of suspense could create. You’ll find that the anticipation for the climax is worth your wait, even when things are getting a bit slow. If you haven’t picked this up yet, you owe it to yourself to look for it. It’s well worth the price of admission, even if you find it streaming. It’s a stiff, slow moving, powder keg that explodes in the third act and doesn’t let up with frenzy. I love it, and you will too, so what are you waiting for?



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Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Time Tunnel Should Have More Fans

Recently I rediscovered a show that I saw as a child, and it made me think about how much people miss out on this show. This classic featured a loveable cast of characters, all of which predate the movie “Stargate” in terms of time traveling, sinister portals and even time jumping. In a hybrid of styles, this showcase of time and space should have a lot more fans, and it just doesn’t. I’m not sure why it doesn’t, but it’s got so many different cool points.

For instance, in the first episode two men jump into the Titanic and have to warn of impending doom. Of course, they can’t change history, but they sure try. Then they jump to another time, and are trapped in a cycle of molecular time shifts. Much like other time traveling shows and movies, the point of change is interesting enough that many people may want to check out the show.

I can see why some people may not like it, as there are moments of boredom throughout the clips, and it apparently didn’t do well in the ratings after some time. It has a feeling of “The Twilight Zone” at times, but the Time Tunnel suffers from something wrong, and I can’t put my finger on it. I do think that it deserves more fans. You can get the collection on dvd here, or you can sign up for one of the many streaming services and catch up on the show as you wish.

The show featured one awesome actress, Lee Meriweather, and Batman fans will remember her greatly.

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Saturday, November 30, 2013

Horror With New Eyes


It was Saturday March 29, 2008 in the early morning that I first came up with the website Scary Film Review. That was after a few months of me writing a blog called The Mexican Dvd Review. I ran that thing for around 8 months before shutting it down to work on something else. I first wanted to do a site called “Sir Jorge’s Macabre DVD” and that didn’t last long.

After throwing around some ideas, I finally got a circuit of free time and decided to go with the name Scary Film Review. It started modestly out of an apartment in Seattle’s lower Queen Anne district. I was living next door to Pesos, a popular Mexican food joint. I recall some good times and some bad times there, nothing that I want to really elaborate on, but I would rent a lot of horror movies from Blockbuster. At the time I had Blockbuster’s rival for Netflix and it had unlimited exchanges for rentals inside the store. So in a week’s time, I could watch roughly 18 horror movies a week. I took full advantage since we didn’t have cable television for a minute. We eventually got cable, and it was a point of contention for a long time.

The site progressed and it went through a lot of changes, ups and downs and eventually became the powerhouse that you’re reading today. I went through a lot of stages, and talked to a lot of people about horror movies, what I liked and disliked, and just found myself using it as an excuse to try and make some money with something that I love.

The times change, and well, I’ve changed a lot too. I see things a bit differently, and celebrate a lot more ideology than previously admitted. I’m not religious, not married, and no longer a stranger in Seattle. I’m now a 30 year old stuck in Southern California, or not stuck, but rather new to the area that I’m in. I still feel isolated, with no family, no friends, and just a few cats and my girlfriend. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s definitely far from the vision that I had for myself.

Scary Film is a website dedicated to all things horror and will continue to be such. However, I have new eyes. I’m older, I am amidst graduate school, and I am finding things out about myself that I never thought of before. I see this site as a work of great labor, and since March 2008, have done something grand. This site lasted longer than my marriage did, and I’m trying hard to keep it alive and well.

I could use help.

If you can buy a dvd, bookmark the amazon links, or donate, do so. This is part of my income stream and I do not have a 9 to 5 job. If you like horror movies and want me to continue, than please, subscribe, comment, and join me on Facebook and what not. I’m returning to a whole new set of movies that you may have seen me talk about in the past, but with new eyes, as I feel far different than I did in 2008.

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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Twilight Zone Box Set No Longer Manufactured after December 1

As of Dec. 1st The Definitive Twilight Zone Collection on DVD will no longer be available in this box set. The manufacturers will cease production, get it before it inflates 1,000% on ebay. http://amzn.to/1dqrMeo

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Anna Scream Queen Killer Review

Scream Queen KillerChemical Burn Entertainment has been sending me a lot of stuff and I am a terrible person, because I keep forgetting to review their stuff. But that is all changing because I’m now starting to watch things and the first one is this one, Anna: Scream Queen Killer. This release had a lot of upside at first glance with a lot of cool things to consider. The synopsis was interesting, the cover art is good, and then what you get is something that you may not expect.

The movie is essentially one woman’s tour de force performance about being a scream queen in the world of horror. It starts with her auditioning for a part and going through a lot of the motions that many actresses probably deal with. As the movie progresses however, she is asked to do more and more extreme things until things get really bad. The more she goes into the audition, the more sinister things become and the more she ends up doing against her will.

After while she starts to get asked to do insane things, bloody things and well she is trapped, kidnapped, raped and tortured. As the movie progresses, she has to fight back and eventually things start looking better.

The synopsis aside, this is not a great film. It’s a boring romp that takes a lot of will power to watch all the way through. It is a very low budget affair, and it features a lot of dialogue with one person and a camera. It’s very much a POV type of role that is not too entertaining at all. I found that the star, Melanie Denholme has done a good job here but it lacks progression, cinematography and compelling plot points and separations. It’s a good idea, but it’s not executed well. I didn’t really like it, and don’t know a lot of people that will love this film. However, that is not to say that you should try, give it a shot if you love horror, as Chemical Burn is trying hard to unleash the best and sometimes worst in horror movies and independent film. They are doing more than I am, that’s for sure. That is worth commending. Melanie Denholme makes this movie watchable, but it’s not easy. I wouldn’t mind meeting her, and discussing things, but alas, I’m a blogger that has no real power.

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Children of Gavrilek For Kindle

Children of Gavrilek
Kindle has really opened up the gates for authors that are very talented, to release books that you may have missed out on. The Children of Gavrilek by Julie Kirton Chandler has proven yet again why everyone needs to pay attention to Amazon’s reader. I found this book to be quite compelling and showcased a variety of interesting twists and turns. What seems to be an adventure tale is so much deeper. It not only resonates with those that want a thrilling ride, but it speaks volumes to those that appreciate science fiction, and even a touch of romance which gives this a good sex appeal amidst a story that is full of depth and character.

Chandler creates a rich tapestry of multi-layered characters and right when you’ve pegged their origins, and stories you are confronted with something new. From Audrianna’s past to Devon’s origin, you will find that there are things found in the subtext that you need to pay close attention to or you may miss out on. It’s for this reason that The Children of Gavrilek is perhaps one of the better books you’ll find that doesn’t conform to only one genre.

There is so much found here, especially within the first few pages, which are easy to read, and resonate with visual language that you may be hard pressed to believe. I know, I know, I’m waxing poetic here, but it really is something worth your attention. It takes you through the ups and downs of what it means to be human, and also throws in a science fiction spin that you may not be able to compare to others.

Monday, October 21, 2013

For the Love of Horror Movies

My earliest memories of horror movies takes me back to Gardena, California. My mother owned a beauty salon and she would pick me up from school and take me there for her night shifts. She let me rent movies from the video store across the street, and I would always pick horror. Her lack of parenting skills or discretion let me play whatever I wanted in her salon and she spoiled me so much. I miss those days. The horror panel of movies I would play were shown for customers and myself alike. She always seemed to have people helping her, and I always had a television up high to look to up to. It was those days that really make me miss childhood, because that’s where I first started to love the world of scary things.

Fast forward to my 30s and I find myself less in love with horror movies than ever before. Perhaps it’s the fact that I work 80 hours a week, or maybe it’s just that I find the genre saturated with boredom. I don’t know what I am going to do in the future, and it sucks. Perhaps the scariest thing is not the movies and the plots, but the fact that life gets in the way of art and entertainment more often than not. If you’re not taking any time off, the scary things in life set in.

Depression, anxiety, sadness, and all sorts of negative emotions set in and you have to fight your way out. I have been fighting for so long that the messages in horror movies start to become real. It’s an odd place to be, but there’s something still burning inside. I’m not sure what it is, but there is something that keeps calling me back to this website, this blog. As I’ve stated before, this page has lasted longer than my marriage did, and it will most likely last longer than my current relationship, if I just keep writing.

If you’re waiting for my next review, or just want to help me come back to full time blogging, I would highly suggest that you follow the links posted all over this page and purchase some items from amazon. If you don’t have time or money, then click through links and bookmark them. I need the cash flow as I’m struggling to even breathe at times. This blog was created for the love of horror movies, and will continue to be that, as long as I can get myself to post another piece. I will sooner than later, that I promise.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, September 30, 2013

4 Movies To Watch After The Collection

I reviewed The Collection here, and it sparked an interesting thought process for me, one that I am going to expound upon here. The movie is very much in the same profile as many others that have come out in the past. For those that are looking for horror movies similar to The Collection, here are 5 films that you want to take a look at, as they may impress you more. At the very least, you will enjoy the stories, as they are similar in tone.

Cube – Strangers found in a strange locale is not new to the horror genre, but when you go with a minimal budget and throw in the idea of a maze that is very much isolated to a structure that is geometrically shaped, you have a movie that hits you like a punch to the jejunum. It isolates the fear and suspense in a minimalist way, without relying on parlor tricks to get you to squeal. By the time the main character figures out just what is going on, it’s just the beginning. This one stands up amongst similar movies in this genre.

Hostel – A party turned into a disaster? Well, no movie does it quite as well as Eli Roth’s follow up to “Cabin Fever”. I hate the term notion of “torture porn” as I do not feel that it’s worthy of the use of either term. I found it to be very much a scary pitch into what many students experience on a regular basis. Just as Amanda Knox whether or not this gives her nightmares. Sometimes fiction and reality come crashing in a deluge of emotion, and this is one that can do a lot of damage to you if you’re afraid of traveling abroad.

House of 1,000 Corpses – When Rob Zombie decided to make a horror movie that would showcase his love for the genre, few people imagined he would go the route that he did. Some called it a clone, I call it a tribute, as it certainly had elements of many of my favorites. An up and coming Chris Hardwick and Rainn Wilson are two of the main actors in this movie, and it really is like The Collection in tone, if not more isolated gore and nudity. There are a lot of layers here, so pay close attention to the tributes.

Saw – The mother of the genre, in many people’s minds, still holds up today. It does so in a way that most people still want to call “porn” but I don’t feel that way. When I first saw it, it blew me away. It still holds up because of the way it’s all played out. It is very subtle in the way it approaches the subject matter, and then uses brutality as a way of redemption. It works. The sequels don’t, but the original does quite well overall.

These 4 movies are similar in tone to The Collection, but overall they stand on their own for a variety of reasons. If you’re a horror movie fan, you’ve probably already seen the aforementioned so this exercise in repetition will not necessarily be something out of the ordinary. If you haven’t picked up these movies, purchase them today and see how they measure up to the latter.

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Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Collection Review

The Collection on Blu Ray
Last night I was feeling great, I had taken a shake in for a try. It had hemp in it, and I made my classic “I’m getting high” joke. For those that aren’t familiar with hemp, it’s a derivative of marijuana, but has no thc. It does however have a high protein content, and is gluten free, soy free, and safe for those that have hypothyroidism. I don’t have it, but I like making hemp jokes, even if I am the only one that finds them funny at this juncture. After said shake, I decided to watch The Collection. I’ve been putting off watching a lot of horror movies because I have been depressed for some time, and it’s just been difficult overall. I’m feeling a tad bit better, so today, we will explore this film.

Another Saw Clone?

The Collection is in the same line as the movie that came out in 2009 called The Collector. I reviewed that movie, to no fanfare on August 10, 2009. That was when I was still living in Seattle, Washington and working for Snowboard Connection. I sometimes wish I still worked for them, I loved the action sports industry, but alas, here I am watching and writing this review.

This movie turns up the ultra-violence fast. It has possibly one of the most gore-filled scenes in movie history, and even though it’s all computer graphics, it still hits hard. The idea of a mass slaughter is not a good concept to me, but it’s effective in presenting how villainous the main character is. Once again, I have a hard time deciding who’s really to praise here, as we see a great deal of dichotomies formed from the start.

Following the plot is simple, we have our same victim from the first film, being rescued, but commissioned to return to the hell house to try and save a girl. We get a sliver of a back story and then we are thrust into a film that is very much like “Saw”. If you like a lot of gore, traps, and mazes, here is another great one. Although, the main character is not like Jigsaw in any way. He’s instead a masked villain that never shows his face.

A Different Movie At The End

In the final act, this movie really took on a whole new life. The visuals were very much like a Stallone movie from the 1980s. As the camera panned on our pseudo-hero, he looked very much like Sly with biceps bulging, and sweat dripping off of him in an inferno that he surely would die from. I just about had it with the movie at this point and was going to walk away unsatisfied with the whole thing, and then something grand happened.

I won’t spoil the ending, but holy crap, the last 10 minutes or so impressed the hell out of me. Visually, this portion is a masterpiece. The way it’s shot, the noises, the plot twist, and the way everything just became an art film, was just impressive. It is a payoff that I didn’t see coming, even though the credits ruined the whole thing. Classic slasher twists and turns, with a gore edge, which is worth a look. Is it my favorite? No. However, there’s enough here to get jaded horror movie fans to at least pay attention, and the film makers did a good job recreating the elements that made the first film worthwhile for me at the time. Check out The Collection on blu ray or dvd by clicking here.

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Friday, September 20, 2013

Fashion Trends, Advice and More With a Liveperson

Recently, I ran into something quite interesting, a website by the name of Liveperson.com, in which you can talk to a real person and get real world advice about anything, really. You see, the concept found here is quite compelling, especially if you take into consideration the fact that you will not be sending your information to a robot or anything along those lines. Instead, you’re going to be moving forward with speaking with a professional that is friendly, and knows what they are talking about.

Let’s remember, when you call someone today, you usually end up getting connected with a call center, and that’s not exactly compelling at all. That’s not the case with this service, and recently I rant into quite the interesting person that you can speak with about a whole slew of options. Whether you need advice, consulting on fashion trends, make up tips, fashion, merchandising or even interior design, you can get help from a real expert here.

When you contact Stephanie via Liveperson – Fashion Trends 101, you are greeted with a friendly voice and a real expert. She has over 10 years of experience in the industry and is one of the reasons why this service is going to take off greatly.

If you read the reviews she has already, you will definitely be thrilled with a unique, and friendly person that is aiming to get you the best possible advice. You won’t have any second guesses or anything when speaking with her. Oh, and let’s say you don’t want to talk via the phone, or anything along those lines, you can chat with her in real time. If she’s not available at the moment of your need, than you can always email her and ask questions. You have to check out Fashion Trends 101 – via Liveperson.com, and speak with Stephanie, even if it’s just for a little advice, it’s worthwhile.




Monday, September 16, 2013

Halloween Costumes You Should Buy

With the month of October settling in, it’s important to look into the wide world of Halloween costumes. You will find that the stores are starting to stock all sorts of things and they are starting to sell through them at a record pace. I for one visited a Spirit Store recently and was impressed with just how much stuff they have. However, they are not always up to snuff with my favorites, and that’s why I wanted to talk about a few favorite iconic ideas that you may want to look into when it comes to dressing up this October 31.

Freddy or Jason

If you are a lazy person, and I know you are out there, try one of these two iconic horror maestros. Last year I was Freddy, and I threw a party in which no one came at all. I invited all my friends, family and my girlfriend invited a lot of people too, and guess what? I was there getting drunk with only myself, my cats and at least a couple. I just remember that Wonder Woman’s boobs were hanging out and I wanted to see them, my girlfriend said I could, but she wasn’t having it. They just seemed to good…and…well I’m a perv. Jason works well too, easy to get a hockey mask and fake machete, right? Notice I am on the left here smiling. That was before I drank myself silly and asked for a woman to show me her boobs. I had way too much to drink and way too much food, all because no one bothered to show up, well except for two people, I don't remember much.

Halloween Costumes

Michael Meyers may be one of the scariest things on film, especially when put into the hands of a seasoned horror rocker like Rob Zombie, but dressing up like him doesn’t necessarily have to be daunting. In fact, it’s as easy as getting a latex mask and a dickies jumpsuit. Then put on some boots and walk slowly. It’s that easy to dress up like one of the iconic killers from yesterday and today.

John Wayne Gacy

If you want to stun everyone, why not dress up like Pogo the Clown himself. You’ll have to put on a little chubby suit, and then waltz around scaring the living daylights out of people, but when they ask you what you are, make sure that you say Gacy. They will either run for cover, laugh, or just look at you like an idiot. I for one would love it, but I’m too brown to pull off this one.

Drake

You want a cool costume idea? Dress up like the rapper Drake. No, don’t dress up like him right now, put on a black polo shirt, wear some dickies and some regular sneakers, and get into a wheelchair. That’s right, that idiot was in a wheelchair during Degrassi, and that’s what you should dress up as. Why not? People would laugh and you could even rap like him, I mean it doesn’t take much to win a Grammy anymore, does it? What he hasn’t won? Who cares.

Ok so my attempt at writing a new post ended up in a rant or diatribe, but hey, that’s me in a nutshell these days. If you’re going to shop online for Halloween costumes, click here and save a bundle, otherwise don’t, I don’t care. This will be a post that will have to hold you over until I start exploding with reviews that you may or may not want to read. Starting in the coming weeks, I'm going to just plow through all the movies I've seen or haven't seen, who knows. The point is that I need to start writing more here and hopefully someone out there will click on links buy something and get me out of this dreaded rut of lackluster writing. Seriously, 800 reviews and not one sale? That's harsh.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Vile Review

vile review
I caught Vile and wow, it has to get my award for the most brutal movie that I’ve seen in a long time. The film follows a group of teenagers and twenty something’s that get caught up in a deadly game. Think of another “Saw” clone and you will get close to what this whole film’s premise is. In fact, you could have called this “Saw 9” and no one would’ve noticed, as it is the exact same formula.

However, the taboos that you would normally not see in horror are found here. There is pain and anguish for the sake of it, and there’s severe brutality on women from men. Men beat the holy hell out of the girls here, all in the name of trying to get out the locked room. I can’t get behind that, it’s essentially just torture for the sake of torture, and that’s never been something I liked. It very much makes the story flow, but it’s not worthwhile.

The payoff is convoluted, the traps and the pain and suffering seems far too harsh and doesn’t end up in a means to an end situation for me. In fact, the ending is abrupt and vengeful in the story, but at that point I didn’t care. Vile is seriously twisted, and while it’s really brutal, it’s not worth your time. I tried to like it but it was just trying too hard to be “Saw” without the visuals, acting, and dare I say good plot and twist at the end.

The Conjuring Review

real conjuring
Well it looks like I’m back to the normal job route, and so far, I love my new job and will never go back to freelance writing again. It’s not worth it, even though I did it for a few years. Two weeks ago I saw The Conjuring, thanks to my sister. The movie has been rated really well on every major media site and so I was expecting a very good movie, and well, what I got instead was a lot of drivel, and for that reason I’m surprised that anyone loved it.

The movie follows real life exorcists and paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren. From their case files comes this story of possession, and you know everything that is going to happen. The same thing that happens in EVERY haunting movie from the last few years, happens here in the same exact way. There is NOTHING in this film that is new or unique. Outside of the fact that it may have happened in real life, this is another chapter in the “Paranormal Activity” and “Exorcist” world and it’s just drivel.

While I thought it had moments of weird, and scary times, the majority of the movie did not live up to any of the hype that was given to it by any major critic. It’s for that reason that I do not recommend this movie. It’s not worth it. It had a good opening, and then dwindled into another possession, ghost story.

Visuals in this film had some good notes, the sound design was great, and the credits at the end are well done, but the movie is not worth your time or money.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Second Look at Videodrome

Videodrome Criterion
When you think about the best films in blu ray, you may not immediately think about this one. However, this is an example of when technology delivers on all fronts with something amazing. For those that aren’t familiar with this movie, you are going to be blown away as it is a marvelous work of satire, oddity, and horror. We are introduced to a character that is not only obsessed, but turns into an all-out psycho amidst a flurry of visualizations that you are probably not going to see with any other movie out there. Videodrome is one of the best examples of creativity and horror elements and definitely deserves another look.

People sometimes remember this movie as a James Woods movie more than they do a Cronenberg flick, but it’s definitely one of his better ideas and movies, regardless of which person you are going to credit most between the two. The story carries through Woods’s character hallucinating and trying to figure out what is wrong with his television and as the movie progresses he realizes that it’s up to him to not only solve the riddle but destroy what very well may be the most elaborate brain control device. The movie has a stark realization throughout that points to the notion that television is controlling us all. Just think, how much time do you spend watching television in any form? You may find that this is all too real, all too real.

Throughout the dreams, the Videodrome emits violence, sex, and a variety of other things that are playing to drive the main character mad. He completely loses it and in the end, we find that the only end of the manipulating is an untimely end of it all as the main character drops out of touch with reality, permanently. For those that read into a variety of things, this is going to be one of the more elusive pieces of entertainment that you watch, until you look more into the ideas, origins, and story behind the creation of the script and production.

When you consider Criterion collection films, you will find that this is one of the better options out there. It not only captures the original movie with great precision, but makes it so much more enhanced. You’ll definitely find yourself wrapped up in Max’s world of illusion and insanity, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, if you watch it late night with the sound up, you could very well be scared to death. (ok not death) Videodrome is one of the absolute best examples of how you can mix imagery, satire, and horror all into one unflinching movement. Cronenberg does that to his audience and it wouldn’t be pulled off without the fact that this is very much a James Woods movie. If you haven’t purchased it yet, what are you waiting for? This is seriously one of the best films in blu ray available today.


Monday, July 22, 2013

A Return To Form

As you may or not know, I have been somewhat absent from the world of Scary Film. I have been going through a lot in my personal life, mainly in the way that I make my living. I’m a professional writer and freelancer and have been going through struggles that most people go through. This site has been a savior at times, making me money from a variety of different things and has yet to come through with a good amount of promotional consideration. No one seems to want to buy anything, no one is subscribing and only a few people are commenting.

I had to return to my roots, why did I even do this, do I even like horror anymore? What was I thinking starting this site? This site has lasted more than my first marriage, and will most likely outlive me, if I can just get myself to watch something horror related. The real world is so much more horrific, where a thug is praised and marched for, and innocent children are killed for no apparent reason. Where children die from eating spoiled lunches, and no news coverage seems to talk about them or what it is that their needs are.

I’m sick of Los Angeles, and it’s pretense, expensive housing, and the fact that NO ONE comes over when you invite them. We sat at the house with an influx of food items and expectations that our so called friends would show up and instead, we get nothing. No one came, no one called, no one cared. So you know what, I’m going to create something for myself like I always have.

In the past I created my own record label and road that to another life. I then marched out of Los Angeles and made a case for who I am in another city, and right now, I am doing it again. I will be starting a literary magazine soon, and will publish works and put out an effort to make profit in a world that people often times miss out on. We will start free and build our way up, until we can say fuck you to Los Angeles and the rest of the idiots that say they are friends and then leave us out to dry.

This rant of course serves as a wakeup call, because I’m back, and I’m going to be reviewing everything and anything in the Scary Film fashion that you’ve come to love. So wake up and take notes, drop me a line, and let’s build something together that is not going to simply die because I’m depressed or because you have found that Facebook is more fun than this.

And for God’s sake do me a favor and visit Amazon through the links and bookmark it, and BUY SOMETHING, I need the money.

Your pal Sir Jorge of Culver the one that started this bullshit site to begin with!

Let’s do it!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Walking Dead Season 4 HD New Trailer

Season 4 of the hit series Walking Dead just got a trailer and thanks to Comic Con, and here it is. Get psyched, it hits this fall and that means that more zombie stuff to come. You know you want it.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Angst (2010) Review

Sometimes the scariest things in life aren’t supernatural in nature, and they aren’t necessarily the boogie man waiting to jump and astonish your senses in a frenetic way. Sometimes it’s the real things in life that compel you to grow nervous, uneasy and fill your mind with the fear that drives you insane. That is the true nature of fear and something that has always driven this site from the inception. It’s with that in mind that upon viewing The Angst, a short film by Naga Kataru from 2010 that is so compelling and interesting.

What you get is a short about the panic, worry, and trepidation that follows many women as they take a pregnancy test. So much is said with silence that you can fill a great deal of thought, and emotion by simply viewing this short film. I for one thought it was interesting, to the point and better than most of the tripe that I have to review for this website. It’s funny how something so simple can resonate so much with you upon first glance.

While I didn’t think that the production was all that great, it still had enough gusto and talent to draw me into something brand new. Even jaded eyes will appreciate this very real, and somewhat scary short film.

Check out Naga Kataru’s imdb page here, and view the short below, you too may agree with my sentiments.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Bride of Chucky Review

Bride of Chucky
I recall seeing this movie and the sequel in theaters a while ago, but I never sat down to review it, and therefore I am going to talk about it a bit. Today we will be dealing with the movie that brought back the doll of horror known as Chucky into the big screens and away from straight to dvd hell like so many others had to deal with. Bride of Chucky puts our little antihero in an interesting and sadistic realm with all the trimmings that you would expect from the classic horror franchise that started in the late 1980s. Gone are the slow moving plot points and lackluster scenarios and in comes a fast paced, black comedic horror film.

The movie looks great, and holds up quite well in the visuals department. Jennifer Tilly is quite the actress, and I couldn’t stop staring at her…..eyes. She has some assets that gets played up a lot here, and there are moments where some of you are just begging for a nip slip. But unlike the celebrity tabloids, the puppies are all covered up, even though they are bursting from her wardrobe at times. The cleavage is so much that one starts to wonder whether or not it ends up being a factor when she is playing poker in the World Series, but then again, it’s a matter of skill and not necessarily luck, right? I don’t know, I’m getting off topic.

The kills are brutal, but at times played up for comedic effect as Chucky is brought back by a former love. Chuck doesn’t like how he’s being treated so he kills his lover in a bathtub and gets her soul to get trapped in a doll and the two run amuck on a quest to find the original body of the soul so that they can get an amulet. This all moves along a road trip plot with two lovers that are the next serial murderers to gain fame for being a deadly couple.

Overall, Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure that is not really scary, but really does drum up some nostalgia here and there. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and does a lot to entertain, make fun, and present the whole series as one big joke. I like it, and found the inside jokes to be awesome, and the ending, well the ending is just another classic moment in horror history.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

John Dies At The End Review

john dies at the end movie
There are a lot of horror movies that come out on a regular basis and no one sees them. This is one of those many releases that no one cared to see in theaters, but alas the world of dvd and streaming can be glad to have another movie to watch and review. I myself finally caught this one, and after I wrote about the release of David Wong’s other book and of course this book as well, it’s about time. Clumsy sentences and bad reviews aside, I found myself watching this one in wonder, as it is truly an original take on a not so original genre, the horror one that is. John Dies at the End is the focus of this review, although I’m a bit tired from making less than minimum wage, applying at jobs that don’t call me back, and wondering where my life started to tailspin in terms of getting ahead in a career path. Heck, I have no career, who am I fooling?

The film is a complex and winding tale about a couple of friends that have found a drug that makes things come to life in a way that Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of. The whole movie weaves around a guy telling a reporter about what has happened to him in the past, and how he came in contact with this insane drug known simply as soy sauce. It is killing off anyone that comes in contact with it, but not before extreme hallucinations and other off setting problems happen.

Throughout the film gags of all types happen and you get to see a great deal of gore as well. In an effort to hasten the pace, you get a lot of intertwining elements, none of which seem to make sense and the whole pay off does a poor job with revealing what the hell is going on. I had more questions about the plot and where it was going than I usually do, and by the time things started to make a little sense, a giant eyeball was eating people. John Dies at The End is definitely a movie worth watching, however, it is not worth asking any questions because you will receive no major answers.

When it comes to finding original horror movies, this is definitely a good one, so make sure that you venture out and watch it, then try to figure out what is going on. The ending will come out of nowhere with an epilogue that is fitting, all things considered.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Review

Motion Picture Abraham Lincoln
I was supposed to be working on Chemical Burn stuff, but their ROKU app decided to quit, and I haven’t had time to look into their screeners that were sent out, so I’ll have to settle for this update, or rather you will have to settle.

There are a series of novels that are essentially rewritten historical accounts of the lives of iconic people and places. This altered history happens to throw the 16th president into the role of a vampire hunter and while most people may not be so quick to say the premise works, the movie does a good job of making the basis for the novel, quite compelling to say the least. With that in mind, the following review is of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

The movie does a good job setting up the hero with the death of his mother at the hands of a vampire, than subsequently goes through some years of his training at the hands of another bloodsucker and the story starts to really move into a fast paced actioner, although it has horror elements. The movie plays more like an Asian cinema Kung Fu epic, but still maintains a certain sense of creep factor here and there. The muted and goldenrod filter on the cameras is a bit annoying, but otherwise, you get a full framework of what could have been a biopic done right. Of course the sensationalized action is something that probably never was a thing for Lincoln to deal with, but then again, his favorite sport was professional wrestling, so maybe he did see some action of this nature.

Overall the film has a good sense of humor about the whole thing, while maintaining serious tones for the slaying of vampires here and there. The slow motion is somewhat distracting and the constant computer graphics and design is not my favorite. However, the producers did a good enough job to get me to forget that and start thinking about whether or not some of the fight sequences were in fact possible. I had to remind myself that these things are NOT reality and are part of a horror-action movie, so maybe they did a good job after all.

Abraham Lincoln battled zombies before, he battled slavery, and most likely enjoyed some of Hulk Hogan’s favorite matches. (Seeing as though Hogan is sooo old, eh? Eh?) I liked this outing, even if it did have some slow motion fighting, but I liked it none the less. I thought it was interesting and it kept me awake, which is something that many other movies haven’t done in a long time. I’d suggest watching it and reading the book too.

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